A Great 2008

I hope you had a very merry Christmas. I am wishing you a wonderfully blessed New Year. Your 2008 can be great. It can be your best year yet. Don't waste these few days we have until the New Year. We must plan to have great years. This too is a process. Great years don't just happen. It is how we prepare for them that makes them great or how we don't prepare for them that makes them less than memorable. If you don't know what great things the Lord would have you to do, pray right now. Ask the Lord to reveal to you what great things he wants you to accomplish in 2008. Wait for him to reveal his plans for you. What you may have been planning and what he has planned could be two very different things. Get on the Lord's page. Once we know what great things we're to do then we should visualize our selves doing these things. What are you accomplishing? Who are you helping? What are you building? What contribution are you making to make this world a better place? See yourself doing these things. It's usually pretty easy to see ourselves doing great things; however, we must also see ourselves doing the planning for these great things. We can't go from doing nothing today to tomorrow saving the world, but we can plan today for tomorrow's great thing. What is our plan to carry out this great thing? What is the process involved in accomplishing this great thing? Success is a planned event. Remember, nothing in life just happens. If we aren't planning to be successful, we are planning to fail. Develop a plan that will help you to accomplish that great thing in 2008.

Way 2: Life Savers

The second Way from my list of twenty is, "Exercise discipline and self control in every area of your life, instead of being slothful and out of a balance." Although discipline and self control are required of Christians, not all Christians exercise them. Without them, we are no different from the world because we too would then be living by our sensuous desires (the flesh). We should know by now that when we allow our flesh to lead us we mess up every time. Christians are called to discipline their flesh. We literally have to beat it into subjection. 1 Corinthians 9:27 The New Living Translation reads, "I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should." From the NIV the same scripture reads, "No, I beat my body and make it my slave..." Both translations of this scripture give us a visual picture of how disciplining our flesh should look. What happens when we don't discipline our flesh? We get into trouble every single time. It caused me to over spend, gain weight, become unhealthy, be rude, not consider time, be a gossip, be lazy, be a poor mother, and more. I had too many hang ups to list right here. Because I failed to discipline my flesh, I was out of control all the time. I was so out of balance, because all I did was cater to my flesh. I only did what I wanted to do whether it was right or wrong. This could have been deadly for me. Look at what happened to David in 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12. David saw Bathsheba bathing and instantly had to have her. This one move created one of the worst debacles ever. If only he had disciplined his flesh, things would have been different for his family and Bathsheba's husband. Look at what happened to Achan in Joshua chapter 7. He just refused to wait. He took what belonged to God. He and his family met their demise. Disciplining our flesh means that we have to tell our flesh what is good for it and what's not good for it. How do we know what's good and what's not? Read our Bible. We have to make ourselves do what is right and make ourselves stop doing what's wrong. At first, doing the right thing may seem totally wrong, because it may be extremely difficult to do. Do the right thing anyway. We have to fight through the pain of training our flesh by doing the right thing until it becomes a habit for us. That means we have to do it over and over and over again, despite how uncomfortable it may first be. We have to retrain our minds and that retraining will produce new actions. Please refer back to my original article 20 Ways to Grow Up in God. The original article explains how the process of renewing our minds works. We should think before we speak and before we act. Don't act hastily. We must think about our actions before we do them. Once we begin the discipline part, we must then exercise self control. We must take control of our flesh and maintain that control. We can't allow our flesh to get out of control and become unruly. If that happens, Proverbs 25; 28 says we basically become useless, "...like a city with broken down walls." We would be of no good to our selves or anyone else. 1 Peter 5:8 states, "Be self controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." So, if you are not self controlled nor alert you make yourself easy prey for the devil to devour. When we are out of balance, we are our own worst enemy. We may wonder why things aren't going our way. We may ask God why didn't certain things work out for us, not realizing that we were our own hindrances, because of our lack of self control. Until we get in order, we shouldn't expect things to go well for us. We all have discipline, and we all have self control. However, we don't all exercise them, nor do we all exercise them at the same rate. Right now, we must plan to exercise both of them in every area of our lives. Today is the day for change. Today is the day that we conquer wrong mind sets. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. We are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us. With God on our side, there's nothing we can't do! Ask the Lord what mind sets you need to change. Ask him to help you change them. You must walk these changes out hour by hour. I never said it would be easy. Boldly confess that you have discipline and self control in these areas. When I was working at losing weight, I confessed, "I have discipline and self control in my eating habits. I eat to live. I only eat to become satisfied in Jesus name." Honestly, I said this all day long, and my eating habits did change; however, I had to do some work that wasn't pleasant. I put my money where my mouth was, and I put my fork down and turned my plate over. The change didn't come by confession alone. It took work along with the confession. Actually, visualize yourself exercising discipline and self control in specific situations. See the outcome you are expecting. We don't have to go through life being out of order Christians. If you think that you are out of order, make the choice today to exercise discipline and self control. You may possibly be saving your life.

Remember the Reason for the Season

Before you rush out to the mall to buy another thing, before you dash in the grocery store to get yet another item for Christmas dinner, before you open your mouth to complain again about all the money you've spent... STOP! Wait a minute. Refuse to get caught up in the hustle and bustle that so many associate with Christmas. The same way that we must do these other things is the same way that we must remember that Jesus Christ is the only reason for the season. We must go out of our way to acknowledge him during this time. Even though we must get to the sale at the mall, we must begin our day with praise and thanksgiving. Praise him for his selfless act of being born to die for us. Thank him for being our redeemer. Even though we must get to the grocery store to get the rolls for Christmas dinner, we must reflect on his goodness. How good is he to have been born to save us from our sins? Even though we must balance our checkbooks because of the extra spending, we must first thank him for showing us how to function in this world as he did. In everything that we do at this time of the year, we must put him first. We must give him his due time in all that we do. For he is the only reason for the season.

Revision: 20 Ways to Grow Up in God

In an earlier post 20 Ways to Grow Up in God, I listed several ways that we can actually grow up in God. I want to revisit that list, because I think I gave too many Ways at once. I think I should have spent more time developing each Way. As it is now, I think the list will just be read and not applied. If I allow it to go at that, then I have not allowed the blog to serve its purpose. The purpose of that blog is to change lives. If a person changes their mind set on a particular topic, then they change their behaviors associated with that topic as well. This is the life changing part. The purpose of this blog as well as future blogs will be to give a more detailed discussion of each Way from that list. To grow up in God means that we must trash behaviors that don't glorify God and adopt the ways of Jesus Christ that glorify God every time. As we grow, we should become more and more Christ like. In order to become like Christ, we must act, do something, make a move. We can't just sit back and wait for the Lord to drop a change on us. No, we must immerse ourselves in the Word of God by reading it, listening to it, speaking it, and hearing it. We must apply it to our lives. Once the application (the act, the something, the move) takes place, then the change will begin to occur.

Think About It

I found this quote by Gandhi more than interesting. "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." After reading it, all I could do is say, "Wow. Now, that's a deep statement!" Based on this quote, it sounds like some of us have some growing up to do (as if we didn't already know it). Give me your thoughts.

Way 1: Tongue Control

The first Way from the list of twenty is, "Think before you speak , instead of giving everyone a piece of your mind." Boy, this is valuable. If you're going around giving everyone a piece of your mind, people probably (hate is a strong word, so I'll say it nicely) aren't pleased with your presence. In her book, "The Secret Power of speaking God's Word," Joyce Meyer sums up Proverbs 16:23 as, "Think before you speak because the mind of the wise instructs his mouth. "Wow!" This is simply stated, but it packs a lot of punch. The wise don't allow their mouths to run wild or engage in idle conversation. Wise individuals don't open their mouths and speak haphazardly. They don't allow any old junk to pop out of their mouths. No, the wise mind instructs his mouth on what to speak. The wise mind orders his speech; therefore, the wise person thinks before he speaks because he instructs his mouth on exactly what to say. Have you ever said something that you didn't mean to say? It kind of popped out before you knew it. I used to do that quite a bit. I did it because, I failed to think before I spoke. We should allow our minds to instruct our mouths, before we open them to speak. This actually took work for me. I had to actually monitor what I said. I had to learn that I couldn't say everything that I thought. I had to actually think about what I said before I said it. Psalm 141:3 reads, "Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." Not only did I pray for the Lord to do this, I confessed that I "guarded the doors of my mouth." Only then, did my speech pattern change. I stopped complaining, grumbling, and gossipping. I stopped giving everyone a piece of my mind. I learned to speak constructively, even when I didn't agree with what was being said. I learned that just because I didn't agree with a person, I didn't have to give them a verbal lashing. This didn't happen instantaneously, because all I knew to do was go off if things didn't go my way, or if I felt like I was being attacked. It did take work on my part. I can remember one time when I was being trained to "guard the doors of my mouth" and my husband said something that I didn't find too pleasing. Boy, I was about to give him a piece of my mind, but when I opened my mouth to speak, absolutely nothing came out. The Lord held my tongue, because he knew I had let my guard down and that I wasn't standing on either of these two scriptures. If you would like to make a change in this area, pray these two scriptures. Tell the Lord you want to think before you speak. Ask him to help you do this and to do Psalm 141:3. Try confessing both scriptures out loud daily. Be mindful of your conversation. With the Lord's help you can control what you speak. Why not start now?

Who Wants To Be Married?

If you want to be married, this is a list of things that you should do in preparation for marriage. Preparing one's self for a Godly marriage is a process. This is not something that will happen over night. I repeat it is a process. How many months must a woman carry a baby before delivery? How long does it take to actually start a business? How long does it take to get a driver's license. Each of the items I just listed involves a different process. A process does not happen over night. This marriage preparation does work. However, you must be committed to do the work that comes with it. I did it and met my husband shortly after this.

Think about why you want to get married (be honest). Make a list. Make sure your reasons for wanting to be married are acceptable to God.

Become the type of person that you want to marry. Create a list of specific things that you want in a husband. Make sure you possess each thing.

Do you cook? If you answered, "No." You'd better learn.

Trash extra baggage. If you're carrying baggage from an old relationship or past hurt. Heal, forgive if you need to, and move on.

Sever all ties to past relationships. Get rid of old love letters, photos, and/or mementos from former beaus. No need to reminiscence about the past, because you're moving on.

Clean up. Clean up you mind and attitude. Clean up your apartment or house. Clean up your finances. Clean up your health.

Read the book of Esther in the Bible. Read carefully about the process that she under went in preparation to be received by the king. Meditate on her favorable characteristics.

Read Proverbs 31. Speak those things that be not and confess that you are a Proverbs 31 Wife. Understand what this type of wife looks like. This is your goal.

Read the Bible to find out what God says about marriage. Read Christian books to prepare your mind for marriage. While reading, find out what your role is to be in the marriage.

Pray about it. Tell the Lord you're ready to begin the marriage process. Let him speak to you about it. Tell him the type of wife you're ready to become. Specifically, list the characteristics you'd like your future husband to possess. Ask God to remove any marriage hindering attitudes from you. Pray for your future husband. You don't have to know his name or who he is. Pray for the protection, wisdom, favor, finances, and strength of your future husband. Those same things that you pray for yourself, pray for him. Allow the Lord to choose your husband. Once you've gone through the list, ask the Lord to bless you with eyes to see your future husband. The Lord doesn't care about "your type." He could care less about the type of guy you're usually attracted to. Get rid of that picture. The Lord looks at the inside. If you allow the Lord to choose your husband, he will bless you with so much more than you ever could have imagined.

What's So Special About Christmas?

I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. It's the day Christians celebrate as being the birth of mankind's redeemer. It's the day Jesus Christ our Saviour was born. It is to be a day of great rejoicing. In preparation for the Holy day, I've included a few of my all time favorite Christmas things. Try one. Try them all.

1. To get a deeper understanding of what Christmas is all about and to find out exactly what is so special about it, read Kenneth Copeland's article "The Day Heaven Rocked" in the December issue of The Believer's Voice of Victory at http://www.kcm.org/studycenter/articles/seasonal/the_day_heaven_rocked.php. After reading this article, you too will know what all the excitement concerning Christmas is about.
2. Fred Hammond's Christmas CD, released in 2001, ...Just Remember is wonderful! It's so wonderful, I listen to it all year long.
3. Although it's not a Christmas item, I use it every Christmas to cook her fabulous macaroni and cheese. Patti LaBelle's cookbook, LaBelle Cuisine, is excellent! Her recipe, "Over-the-Rainbow-Macaroni and Cheese," is the BOMB. It's my belief that everyone should try it at lest once.
4. The Family Man rated PG-13, starring Nicolas Cage and Tea Leoni released in 2001, is one of my favorite Christmas movies. It really makes me think and reflect. This movie reminds me that perspective is everything.

Thwarting Deception

When Christians are faced with new situations, our first line of defense should always be to pray about it every time. I know in many situations we may feel that we know enough about about a thing to make an educated decision about it, so in this instance we feel that we are exempt from praying about it. No, not true, wrong!! Even after we've surveyed it by looking at it, hearing it, touching it, and even tasting it if we can, we still have to pray about it. Although we may think we know what's good for us, only God in his infinite wisdom can make the determination of what is best for us. In Joshua chapter 9, the Gibeonites set out to deceive Joshua and the Israelites. They clearly believed that Joshua would execute the the God given instructions in Deuteronomy 7:1-2, "When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations-the Hitties, Girgashites, Amorites,Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusties, seven nations larger and stronger than you-and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them and show them no mercy." They also knew what Joshua did to Jericho and Ai-obliterated them. Although they resorted to a plan of deception, they were not deceived about what God was doing for his people. There was no doubt in the minds of the Gibeonites that the Lord's plan was definitely going down. They obviously believed that they did not stand a chance in battle, so they didn't engage the Israelites in one as the other nations surrounding them were planning to do. Now, the Gibeonites were not believer's in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, yet they believed in the Lord's plan for his people so strongly that they devised a scheme to attempt to dodge death. The Gibeonites plan was to get the Israelites to believe they were travelers from a distant land (not their neighbors) who had traveled to meet them because of the fame of their God and to get them to agree to a treaty with them. If they could get the Israelites to agree to a treaty with them (even under false pretenses), the Israelites could not destroy them when they claimed their land. They looked the part of tired, weary travelers from their clothing to their provisions. They wore old, patched clothing, worn shoes, and shared old moldy bread. The Israelites tested the Gibeonites provisions, dried, old bread, but they didn't seek the Lord. They entered into a treaty with the Gibeonites without seeking God. The Israelites were fooled by their senses. They were fooled by what they saw-old worn shoes and clothing, tasted-old, dry bread, and heard-they had journeyed from a land afar. The Israelites, who had relied on God up to this very point for everything (food, living instructions,travel directions, plan of attack, success in battle), suddenly, relied on their own understanding. What understanding could they possibly have thought they had? Up to this point the only understanding they had came from God, because they couldn't make a move apart from him. To further prove their deception, the travelers shared their provisions in Joshua 9:12, "This bread of ours was warm when we packed it at home on the day we left to see you. But now see how dry and moldy it is and these wine skins that were filled were new, but see how cracked they are and our clothes and shoes are worn out by the very long journey." Their appearance did look as though they had traveled from afar. Their scheme proved to be quite believable. They sounded convincing as well, "Your servants have come from a very distant country because of the fame of the Lord your God." That second part was true, because they believed what God had done and believed what God would do. The Israelites leaned to their own understanding and not God's. They should have inquired to the Lord about this, because it was a very serious matter. The Israelites did exactly what God told them not to do, so they would have to suffer the consequences of their actions, sooner or later. Back in Joshua chapter 3:4, Joshua instructed the Israelites to follow the ark of the covenant as they crossed the Jordan River, so they would know which way to go, because they had never been that way before. He gave specific directions as to how they should follow the ark and cross into the new land. Those same specific instructions should have been applied to this situation. Entering into a treaty was also new for them. They had never been this way before either. A group of men asked to make a treaty with them and Joshua didn't even know from which they came. But guess who knows everything about everything? God knows. Our senses can be easily fooled, because they don't know beyond what they see, hear, feel, or taste. God knows beyond these things. God knows that our senses are not accurate indicators of truth. Our senses can't go beyond what they do. They can never stand up to the wisdom of God. Our senses are not to be trusted. We shouldn't make poor choices because of what we see, hear, feel, or taste. This is an example of how our senses are not to be trusted. Christians should not make decisions apart from God. We are to seek him first then our paths will be made straight and then we will have good success.

Allow God to Define Your Character

During a three day liquid fast, the phone rang. I immediately looked at the caller I.D. It was that person calling me again that I didn't want to talk to. I didn't answer it. As soon as I put the phone down, the Lord said to me, "Do not allow others to define your character." I had to stop for a minute to think about what he had just given me. I knew that the person calling was going to ask me to do something that I really didn't want to do. Rather than have the long discussion as to why I couldn't do it, I would just avoid the call. Just like that he dropped his wisdom on me; however, I was hoping for a deep moving word from the Lord. I was waiting to receive divine revelation. This was not what the word for which I had been waiting. By not taking the call, I was giving that person the opportunity to think of me in an unfavorable manner. I was allowing that person to define who they thought I was. She could have possibly thought, "She's rude and inconsiderate. She wouldn't even return my call." This individual could rightfully think that about me, because I hadn't planned on disproving it by returning her call. As a matter of fact, I had no intention of talking to her at all. Although, it wasn't like I would never see the person again either. Actually, I would have been seeing that individual in about two weeks. When I saw her face to face, what could I say. What excuse could I offer that wasn't a lie? Unless I lied, I wouldn't have an excuse. Before I called her back, I prayed that the Lord would order my speech and bless me with a spirit of bravery and boldness to have the conversation that I knew would ensue. I did it. I called her back. Of course she told me that she had already called me twice. I did all that I knew to do. I apologized. I apologized for not getting back with her sooner and moved on. Then she began to ask me questions that I knew were leading up to the ultimate question. I broke in at that point and just gave her the answer to the question that she hadn't asked but was leading up to. I politely explained the situation and she understood. It was quick and simple. It wasn't this long drawn out conversation that I previously thought we would have. Now, she could not paint the wrong picture of me. I didn't do what she needed me to; however, I handled the situation with integrity. I felt so much better after this. Later on, a relative of mine told me that she too received a call from the same person and she too didn't take her call. She knew that she would be asked the same question that I answered but hadn't been asked, but she didn't want to have the conversation at all. So, she refused to take her call. The Lord showed me that I had to do the right thing no matter who else was or was not doing it. I had to grow up in him and this was part of it. Part of growing up meant being able to do the right thing even when it isn't easy nor was it popular. The word that he gave me that day was exactly the word that I needed at that point in my walk with God. God's Word is always right on time. I just didn't realize it then. If I couldn't do the right thing by him in this situation, why should he give me this deeper revelation for which I had been looking? Another time, I called an individual on two different occasions. Neither time did she call me back nor even make mention of the fact that she received my message. I'd like to say I did the Godly thing and gave her the benefit of the doubt, but I didn't. I called her rude. I wished I had stopped there, but I didn't. I went on to say that she didn't have to worry about me calling her again, because I wasn't. At a later date, I agreed to do something for her. When the time came, I honestly forgot about it. Part of me wanted to call her and apologize for forgetting to do what I told her I would. The other part of me was like, "Oh, well. Too bad, I missed it. I'm not calling her. Why should I call her? She didn't call me back," and I moved on. A few minutes later, I was convicted. The Lord reminded me, "Do not allow others to define your character." Despite what that individual did not do, I know the right thing to do, and I am held accountable for doing it (period). No, she didn't handle the situation correctly. However, that didn't give me the green light to do the same. Even if she didn't handle the situation the way that I thought she should have, why couldn't I give her an out (the same out that I would have wanted someone to give me)? What would it have cost me to say that I wouldn't hold it against her? It wouldn't have cost me a thing. Two wrongs don't make a right, nor would they have made me feel better. The Lord doesn't want to hear my excuses about why I didn't do what he told me to do. Why should I allow someone the opportunity to think about me in in less than a pleasing light? The Lord is showing me that Christians are called to a higher level of accountability. We aren't given the option as to whether or not we want to take him up on it. We just have to do it. There are no other options. Christians are to do the right thing despite how we or anyone else may feel about it. How we feel about it really is irrelevant. If the Lord said do it, then do it. There it is! If you ever find yourself in similar situations, do the right thing.

New Position: Stay- at- Home Mom

I had no idea of what I was getting into when I requested this position. The usual banter on the job site was, "No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Mom, tell her I didn't..."If I heard that one more time, I thought I might just SCREAM! If it wasn't that, then it was, "Mom can you get me...? Then, can you get me...? OK mom?" I heard this every day all day long from the time they awoke until the time they went to sleep. Back then, it would have been nicer to hear something like, "Mom can I get you anything for a change?" It would have been even nicer to hear, "You know what mom I'm not going to ask you for one more thing. I'm just going to sit here and watch the channel that I've been watching and be content. I'm not going to ask you to do one more thing." By the time my youngest two went to bed, I didn't want anyone to ask me for anything. Since I lived in the real world, that couldn't have happened, because that was usually when one of my oldest had an urgent request that had to be fulfilled as soon as possible. She usually needed me to curl her hair, proof read her homework, or tell her if the two shades of black in her outfit matched. I used to think, "Man, can they do anything without me? Do I have to be the center of every activity?" My pressing question was, " What time do I get off? When can I punch out?" When I was a teacher, my work day began at 7:25 am and it ended at 2:50 pm. I knew once 2:50 hit my job at the high school was over for that day. My new position, didn't come with a quitting time. I soon realized that I worked around the clock although I never negotiated my work hours. "Hey, I want to talk to the boss around here, because I know my contract couldn't be right," I thought. That nagging voice in my head wanted to say, "Excuse me, Excuse me, where's the supervisor, because I need to get to the bottom of this." I traded one job where I worked 7.5 hours per day and no weekends for one where I was always on call, 24/7. In my former position, I was paid biweekly and received benefits. My new job didn't come with a financial salary nor medical benefits. "This couldn't be legal," I thought. "To do the kind of work that I do and not get paid...that must be against the law." The qualifications for this type of job are bravery, strength, determination, motivation, patience, endurance, and, optimism. Individuals applying for this position must be saved and have a working relationship with Jesus Christ (They're sure going to need it.). Applicants should be forewarned that in this position, "Only the strong survive. The weak need not apply. If you can't run with the big dogs remain at your current position." My job was not a job for wimps nor whiners. My job is full time motherhood. Believe me, It's no joke! When I first started, I had no idea what I was in for. As a teacher, I commanded the attention of up to 25 teenagers and I had struggled to get one toddler and one baby to sit down and watch Sesame Street while I took a shower. "Excuse me," there was that voice again. "Where's the person in charge? Someone must have made a mistake, because this isn't what I signed up for." Those first few months at home were a challenge. Once again, I had to grow up and step up. I reminded myself that I was the one who said I wanted to be a stay -at- home mom more than anything. I was the one that said I gave other people's kids my best and gave mine what was left. I was the one that said I finally wanted to get this "mommy thing" right. I was the one that prayed to become a stay- at- home mom and confessed daily that I was. I was the one that prayed for patience, gentleness, and compassion in dealing with my children. I had to get over myself. I had to stop thinking about me and start thinking more about my children and what was best for them. Once I prayed for patience, gentleness, and compassion, it was on. The time soon came when I had to exercise them. I just didn't know that I would have to exercise them all at the same time over and over and over again. Once I got over myself, I started to view my new position in a new light. I used to think, "How many hours do I have until 8:00 pm (bedtime)?" Now I think of fun activities that they will enjoy doing. I had to see this new situation for the blessing that it really was. It is truly a blessing to be a stay- at -home mom. I am finally able to slow down and spend the time with my children that I had always wanted to spend. I am able to do all of the things with them that I want to do. I am able to teach them all of the things that I want them to know. I am able to be the mother I've always known I could be. Do I mind now being the center of every activity? I don't mind at all. Actually, I wouldn't have it any other way. I fully enjoy my children now. I marvel at their growth and can't believe one may actually be leaving me to begin kindergarten soon. How fast the time flies when you're having fun. That's right, I said fun. I've come a long way from wanting a paycheck and wanting to punch out. Sometimes, I just want to stop time for a little while, so that I can have them to myself a little longer. I know that's impossible. Instead, I've learned to actually live in the moment and enjoy our time together. I did have to repent for my old way of thinking. It was just plain wrong of me to complain about such a wonderful blessing. Now, when I wake up every morning, I consider myself blessed for having such a wonderful opportunity.

Why Did I Get Married?

Why did I get married? When I didn't know any better, my life seemed much simpler before marriage. No cooking dinner if I didn't want. I could come and go as I pleased. I didn't have to call and check in while I was out. I could change my plans whenever I chose and never had to confirm it with anyone. If I wanted to leave the house at 11:00 pm, I could. I had complete freedom. Not to mention, I didn't even have to make the bed if I didn't want to. I was free to come and go as I very well pleased. That was the life or so I thought. I was the BOSS! Boy, once I was married that was over. There was no more coming and going as I pleased. No way was that going down. If I told him I was going to the store up the street, guess what I had better be going to the store. There was no way in the world I could come back four hours later and say I had changed my plans without calling. If I said I was going to the mall and would be back in a few hours, I actually had to be back in a few hours or call, which I could never remember to do. Too bad, because I learned that one the hard way several times over. In the beginning, it didn't seem to me like I was marriage material. I was a total mess up. It was as if I would wake up and say, "Let's see what I can mess up today." I would just pray, "Lord please don't let me mess up today." It just seemed that my husband and I were never on the same page at the same time. I would be on one page and he would be on another. Sometimes, I felt like we were in totally different books! Boy, that was a rough period. I prayed for my husband constantly as if he was the problem. I should have been praying for myself. I knew I wasn't as right as I could have been, however, I didn't know where to start, so I felt that he could give me a break. He didn't have to be on my case all day, every day. I felt like he should be the bigger person and cut me some slack (not!, no way! never going to happen!) I was doing the best I could. The point of contention in my marriage was my selfishness. That's really what it boiled down to. I didn't treat my husband the way that I wanted to be treated. I thought it was all about me, so that's how I acted; however, I didn't reach this conclusion over night. I was so used to doing my own thing that I continued to do it even after we were married. This is all that I knew. Here I was a grown woman, yet I walked around like a baby who considers no one but herself. Whatever the baby sees, she wants. Whatever the baby wants to do, she does. When the baby is opposed, she cries out. Like a baby I was crying out, "Give me a break! What's the big deal? Stop trying to change me." I never considered how my husband might have been feeling due to my behavior, because I was too busy considering myself. I gave myself an out in this area, because this new way of "being" was foreign to me. To actually consider someone else's feelings, other than my own, all the time now that was new to me. My husband came into the relationship doing these things, so I felt that he should continue to do them, and at some point, I'd catch up. Well, he wasn't buying that. He felt that he deserved the same treatment that he gave, and he wanted it right then. God is good. He gave me just what I needed...a strong man who would not, adamantly refused to budge on this issue. I did give it the old college try. I did have a few moments where I did the right thing. I would call if I was going to be late. Sometimes, I would even remember to make the bed. Every now and then, I would even consider the time and we'd make it to church early. It seemed like I just couldn't do all of these things on the same day, day after day. I wasn't doing them consistently. I had to plan to do the right thing, before I actually did it. Man, talk about pressure. I was under pure pressure. After I did all that I knew to do, I prayed for myself. Until this point, I had been praying for my husband (praying that he would cut me some slack). I prayed that if I was wrong that the Lord would show me. I prayed for eyes to see and hears to hear what he would reveal to me. That didn't take very long. Immediately, he showed me that it was I who was wrong. Then, I prayed for him to show me how to be right consistently, because I had no clue of how to do this. He did show me. By no means was it quick nor easy, but he did show me. It wasn't one of those miraculous things where I was instantaneously delivered from my selfish ways. Nope, I had to walk this one out. I had to get my mind right. I had to change my thought process. It wasn't all about me, nor should it have ever been. It was about the Lord being glorified in my marriage. I had to treat my husband the way that I wanted to be treated. I had to do all that I did as unto the Lord (period.. No excuses). I had to begin by thinking the right thing, and doing the right thing, day after day after day. Was this easy? No! It was incredibly difficult. I ranked it right up there with when I did my student teaching when I was in college. I thought it was the most challenging thing I ever had to do. No textbook ever prepared me for what I encountered in the classroom. It was sink or swim. I became a fast swimmer. This was the case for adapting a right mind set in my marriage. I didn't know it at the time but I was disciplining my flesh, and it was screaming and wailing out under the pressure, because it was literally being crushed. It was being crushed out of existence. I must say that once I sincerely gave it to the Lord, real change began in me. I grew to begin to consider my husband the way that he had been considering me all that time. I can finally say that this is a lesson learned. It is a lesson that I must continually apply throughout my marriage. This married life...,this is the life! Why did I get married? So, I can become what God wants me to become. So, I can grow up in God. So, I can see that this life isn't about me. So, I can have one of the greatest testimonies ever (it's not finished yet). So, I can experience how Christ treated the church. So, I can see how much my husband loves himself (because he is commanded to love me the way that he loves himself). So, I can be a blessing to my man of God, my husband. So, I can train women how to love their husbands. So, I can become a Proverbs 31 wife. So, I could become a we. So, we can raise Godly children. So, we can be an example of a marriage that is rooted in God. So, we can further the kingdom of God. That's why I got married.